A beginning of sorts...

I have a blog. And a twitter. and all those crazy social networking things that the driven nature of social media tells us will be useful ultimately to ones career.
And yet here I am building another.
Maybe it's just to tame the chaos that's in my brain right now. Maybe it's to help build a place to quarantine all my mad writers thoughts. So much of what I'm doing sits as a secret, because so many fear that thin line between what is copyright, and what is stealable.
I can SAY I am writing something. I can even refer to it in vague terms, thrill about word count, or ask about research... but I can't say WHAT I'm writing.
IT's too soon. It's not done. It's not bound in a copyright, and it's not even reached the point where I feel I can even bear the vast pressure of public scrutiny.
and yet it's devoured my life. I haven't slept... not properly... for weeks. and for a week or two before that. I'm always puzzling over it. My mind is a montage of scenes, images of character faces you haven't met, funny moments between characters not yet written, elegant chaos and beautiful tragedy.
I have come SO FAR. It's been a work in progress off and on for years. I've showed it to a few people in it's unfinished state, I've ranted and raved to them. I even killed it once and buried it, vowing never to speak of it. But like the still beating heart beneath the floor boards, it wouldn't stay dead.
The characters were too real. The potential too great. and finally I surrendered to the truth that I needed to make it real. I will finish it. I will give it wings. I will make it fly.
If I fall, and I will, I will glue the pieces back together and try again.
I have to try. I can't decide not to... I just have to try.

There's still much to be done. A second draft to finish. Editing and revision. Agent queries to attempt. A second novel to write... All these things I've left to do.

but god damn it I will do this. I will not quit. I will do this, or sacrifice the remainder of my sanity in the process.
This is my vow.