The gap in Time... an authors relation to character.

Today I found the perfect song. A song that embodies the soundtrack for my novel, a song, that on so many levels, resonates with my Protagonist. Every time I hear it I think of her, and I wanted to badly to share this song  but I realized, to everyone else, even my BETA's it won't make sense. It won't make sense until the end.

See, I feel like I'm standing on a different thread of space-time in my writing, and in many ways it's jarring. For me the book is done, I've written it. Hell, I've written it twice already. It's not finished, polished, done... But it is completed. Yet the thing about it, is this is book one. It's the start of a potentially long and elaborate series. I have the frame work laid for up to six books, if not more, and already at least two short stories.

My relationship with my Protagonist is VASTLY different from my anyone just starting the book, because I'm seeing her as who the book helps her become. Yes, when I go back and edit, I see the world through the eyes of who she was then, and she's still her... But there's so much more.

I think every writer hits this point. Some right away, some get further into the book to get that far. For example, Jim Butcher and his Protag. Harry Dresden. I'll avoid specific spoilers, but who Harry Dresden is prior to 'Changes' is a vastly different person, in a vastly different situation then he is afterward. In fact even through an entire book, as a reader, we're left wondering what his life is going to be like, and how he will have changed.

Whereas, Jim, well even if he doesn't have all the specifics of the book hammered out in advance, he does know where Harry is going. He knows who Harry is now, and hell, he knows who Harry will be in the final scene of his final book. Writers have this outside omnipotent view and it can be confusing. I've heard fans wonder WHY an Author took so long to answer a question about a character. But what you have to understand, is that we know the story... But sometimes we've edited the finite details, changed and rewritten one scene so many times, that the color of a side characters eyes might elude us, or the exact importance of a piece there no longer matters.

The other obvious problem, is spoilers. Right now I'm hammering at my novel solo, and I don't have anyone who's immersed in this world as much as I am. Hell, people haven't even read chapter 7, and I'm JUST WAITING so I can TALK to someone about Chapter 7! One thing I love about being a reader, is reading something alongside someone, or after someone, so that when we both hit a scene of major importance we can shriek together and discuss. I can't do this with any of my readers yet. Especially as everything is still being crafted and edited, I can't risk telling them what is coming, because I need them to read it and allow the story to unfold without any knowledge of the future. I need to know if the proper cues and details are in the PRINT without giving them clues.

It's hard to be the only one who knows the end already. I feel like I'm standing at a future point in time, waiting for everyone I've left in the past to catch up. I want them to see my Protagonist at the end. I want them to see that glimmer of who she is going to be.
I wonder if it was hard for Jim Butcher to write the twelve books before Changes knowing how much the future events would change him? I'm impatient enough with my Protag, and I get her (somewhat) where I need her by Book 2.

So remember when you ask an Author, at the end of book one, or two, or thirty, why an important even happened, or what was implied by a certain phrase... Remember, they're standing outside of time, and can see all the way to the end. So if they take a moment to answer, it's likely because they're trying to remember what HAS happened, and what HASN'T HAPPENED YET, and give you an answer that will keep you n YOUR present, without betraying the future.  (Now I understand why Doctor Who has such a hard time having meaningful conversations.)

So be patient with the writers... We mad few who know entirely too much about the world we live in, while being surrounded by obsessed geeks that may very well figure out something we haven't (I look forward to that day!)... Be patient, because we're trapped out of time, seeing everything at once, and often that makes it hard to see as well where you are standing.

A plea for the future...

I find myself troubled. I’m bothered enough to blog about politics, which isn’t something I usually do. Sadly, like many Americans, I only tend to notice the sway and grind of politics, when the wheels turn to bear down and effect me personally. Too often, things pass into law, elections go unnoticed, and changes are enacted… Beneath my notice, without my seeing.

Then sometimes there are injustices that scream so loud, and so painfully, that you can’t look away. You can’t ignore it… Well, you can, but not without choosing to look away. Not without choosing to sit silent and watch the world change.

I don’t believe our current system will fall into the hands of despotic leader. No, our system is too crippled by two parties so busy undercutting the other that they’ve stopped actually giving a damn about what the bills actually say, all that matters is whether their opponent is in favor… or not. I’m not so much worried about Congress, as I am about the voters, the people, and how many of us our sitting silent. I start to ache for the state of our future, and not because of the people in office, but because the real people in power all the voters in the country, are the ones who put them there.

Today I was getting my 5 year old daughter ready for bed, and she’d heard some of my conversations with her Daddy about politics. She looked at me and asked.

“Mommy, what does ‘Hate’ mean?” She asked.  

I realized this was one of those moments, where I could teach her, where I could give her an example.

“Sweetie, Hate is a bad thing. Hate is when people dislike something so badly, that all they care about is controlling that one thing. They don’t care who they hurt, or how they make other people feel, because they hate something.”

It’s the best explanation in the world, and it breaks my heart to think about it. There is so much fear in today’s politics, so much hate, whether it’s for a specific type of people, homosexuals, women, racism, or even just hating your political opposite so blindly that you refuse to grasp the bigger picture.

Hate is when you care so much about what you want, that you don’t stop to consider what your doing, and how it might hurt others. Hate is based on fear.

It’s important to remember that in politics. How many laws have to be defended by their creators as ‘not being that bad’. How many laws that are up for debate are based in the idea of crippling a type of person for a ‘greater good’? Now I’m not talking about tax law, or Medicare, or the areas where the ultimate argument is money. I’m talking about laws that subjugate a person based on gender, race, or sexual preference.

How is it even possible that in THIS country, in the information age, in a time where we can learn about virtually anything, instantly… HOW can ignorance be running our politics? It simply seems unbelievable to me.

What scares me most is that the votes are winning. People are voting to take the rights of other people away. People are voting to subjugate people based on a sexual preference, which has NO bearing on their character, intelligence, or rights. If such a bill was passed to limit the legal standing of the disabled would this have passed? If such a bill was passed to limit the legal standing of white men, would this have passed?

If the answer to that question is no, if that question appalls you, then maybe we should think about what WE are doing to our friends and neighbors.

Hate is what motivated people to act in fear and hostility, without considering anyone else’s hopes. Hate, and often greed are what motivate people to dissolve another persons rights.

And what I wonder most, is will the future we are creating for our children with these votes ‘protect their families’ or just be another slowly grinding wheel of government used to crush their dreams? I don’t want my daughter to judge another child who has ‘two mommies’. I don’t want my child to feel that she must date only the ‘acceptable’ gender/race/religion. I want her to choose the person who is right for her based on how happy and deeply in love she feels. If my child is gay, that’s okay. If my child is straight, that’s okay. It’s not me she needs to worry about fulfilling. It’s herself, and all of her own dreams.

Why is that so hard to choose? Why is it so hard to vote for tolerance, acceptance, and hope? More importantly, how many of us agree, that the world would be a better place with more tolerance… But all too often we sit in silence. We sit home instead of voting. We believe the news instead of reading the ballot. We watch the world change around us, while we stand still.

We can’t sit silent. I can’t sit silent anymore. Not when it means my rights will slowly be fought over and dictated by someone else. Not when I believe the world can be better. Especially if I am willing to fight for it.