Life, Equality, and Everything

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Just a quick note on my philosophy on life.  I believe a lot of things, and those things work for me. I choose not to believe in other things, and that is my freedom to do so. I feel like we are so often buffeted by controversy and rageface, especially when we’re online for any measure of time, or if we have the misfortune of being drawn into political ‘discussion’. It’s really important that we try to remember to respect and understand another’s opinions and choices.

I think the crux of all bigotry and friction lies at its very heart a big discomfort with things that are different. Maybe it’s religion, maybe it’s sexuality, maybe it’s an opinion on a book.

But here’s what you need to remember:

Different isn't evil.

Different isn't wrong.

Different doesn't need to be hidden, castigated, shunned or changed.

Different isn't scary.

It’s just different.

If you’re straight, and that guy is gay, so what?

If you’re Christian, and that guy is Muslim, so what?

If you thought Star Wars was the best thing ever, but that guy never really liked it at all, so what?

Life shouldn't be about wasting your energy hating, fearing, or trying to change the people around you. Granted, if you love something like Star Wars, or Religion, you might have this crazy wild urge to find someone to share it with. That’s GREAT! Up until the point that you keep pushing your opinions on someone else after they've politely said they are not interested.

Bigotry and hate is like a mushroom farm, it thrives best when locked away in the dark and is fed on bullsh*t. If there are people who are vastly different from you, rather than trying to change them your time would be much better spent trying to understand and learn more about them, and why they feel that way. You might find your opinions change… or they don’t!

Exploring a new religion doesn't mean you’ll automatically convert. Just like watching the Star Wars box set with an obsessed friend doesn't mean you’ll run out and buy a light saber. Life is full of choices; make the choices that are right for you. Based on your experience and what makes you happy.

As a corollary, don’t let other people tell you how to think, act, feel. Not religion, not family, not politics. People give you opinions that are often what they hope will make you happy, but they are opinions, not edicts. You figure out what is right for you.

There are limits of course to healthy expression. Do not do anything that impedes another person’s life, freedom, or self. Don’t mess with children or animals. Don’t be a predator. And don’t be a dick.

I have a lot of opinions and I feel strongly about some things. I do not expect you to agree with me. I only hope that you will keep an open mind and listen to all the words before deciding on a judgement. I’ve realized that almost all of my pent up frustration, especially regarding politics, comes out of a feeling that people keep making damning judgments about others. Everyone in politics seems so eager to assign blame while accepting none. It all becomes us vs them rhetoric and it’s just exhausting.

I’m in favor of fairness. I’m in favor of equality. I’m in favor of personal freedoms being protected by law. I’m in favor of listening, not condemning.

So that’s my philosophy. I do have my bad days, like everyone else, I have days when I get mad, or I get frustrated, or I’m totally baffled by something. I’m not perfect.

But no one is.

And that’s okay.

Liz 

A plea for the future...

I find myself troubled. I’m bothered enough to blog about politics, which isn’t something I usually do. Sadly, like many Americans, I only tend to notice the sway and grind of politics, when the wheels turn to bear down and effect me personally. Too often, things pass into law, elections go unnoticed, and changes are enacted… Beneath my notice, without my seeing.

Then sometimes there are injustices that scream so loud, and so painfully, that you can’t look away. You can’t ignore it… Well, you can, but not without choosing to look away. Not without choosing to sit silent and watch the world change.

I don’t believe our current system will fall into the hands of despotic leader. No, our system is too crippled by two parties so busy undercutting the other that they’ve stopped actually giving a damn about what the bills actually say, all that matters is whether their opponent is in favor… or not. I’m not so much worried about Congress, as I am about the voters, the people, and how many of us our sitting silent. I start to ache for the state of our future, and not because of the people in office, but because the real people in power all the voters in the country, are the ones who put them there.

Today I was getting my 5 year old daughter ready for bed, and she’d heard some of my conversations with her Daddy about politics. She looked at me and asked.

“Mommy, what does ‘Hate’ mean?” She asked.  

I realized this was one of those moments, where I could teach her, where I could give her an example.

“Sweetie, Hate is a bad thing. Hate is when people dislike something so badly, that all they care about is controlling that one thing. They don’t care who they hurt, or how they make other people feel, because they hate something.”

It’s the best explanation in the world, and it breaks my heart to think about it. There is so much fear in today’s politics, so much hate, whether it’s for a specific type of people, homosexuals, women, racism, or even just hating your political opposite so blindly that you refuse to grasp the bigger picture.

Hate is when you care so much about what you want, that you don’t stop to consider what your doing, and how it might hurt others. Hate is based on fear.

It’s important to remember that in politics. How many laws have to be defended by their creators as ‘not being that bad’. How many laws that are up for debate are based in the idea of crippling a type of person for a ‘greater good’? Now I’m not talking about tax law, or Medicare, or the areas where the ultimate argument is money. I’m talking about laws that subjugate a person based on gender, race, or sexual preference.

How is it even possible that in THIS country, in the information age, in a time where we can learn about virtually anything, instantly… HOW can ignorance be running our politics? It simply seems unbelievable to me.

What scares me most is that the votes are winning. People are voting to take the rights of other people away. People are voting to subjugate people based on a sexual preference, which has NO bearing on their character, intelligence, or rights. If such a bill was passed to limit the legal standing of the disabled would this have passed? If such a bill was passed to limit the legal standing of white men, would this have passed?

If the answer to that question is no, if that question appalls you, then maybe we should think about what WE are doing to our friends and neighbors.

Hate is what motivated people to act in fear and hostility, without considering anyone else’s hopes. Hate, and often greed are what motivate people to dissolve another persons rights.

And what I wonder most, is will the future we are creating for our children with these votes ‘protect their families’ or just be another slowly grinding wheel of government used to crush their dreams? I don’t want my daughter to judge another child who has ‘two mommies’. I don’t want my child to feel that she must date only the ‘acceptable’ gender/race/religion. I want her to choose the person who is right for her based on how happy and deeply in love she feels. If my child is gay, that’s okay. If my child is straight, that’s okay. It’s not me she needs to worry about fulfilling. It’s herself, and all of her own dreams.

Why is that so hard to choose? Why is it so hard to vote for tolerance, acceptance, and hope? More importantly, how many of us agree, that the world would be a better place with more tolerance… But all too often we sit in silence. We sit home instead of voting. We believe the news instead of reading the ballot. We watch the world change around us, while we stand still.

We can’t sit silent. I can’t sit silent anymore. Not when it means my rights will slowly be fought over and dictated by someone else. Not when I believe the world can be better. Especially if I am willing to fight for it.